A Reminder to Myself

There are times when we want to share our feelings or piece of mind to a friend but we can't be able to do it. Was it because of pride? ego? shame? anger? frustration? confusion? Whatever the reason is, some things are better left unsaid as it might end up affecting not only ourselves but others as well.

The past few days, I realise that there are changes in me. I rarely smile like I used to anymore. I hardly laugh as much as I used to and I barely feel like talking to people anymore. Was it that I've been so contented with loneliness? Maybe....maybe not. I'm not sure, as always, I can never make up my mind and always in a confusion state of mind.

I hate the fact that I'm starting to be cold towards people. I'm not so friendly, always being emo and frustrated more often than ever. Often moody and have the feeling of hating every single person in this world. Even the slightest thing pisses me off. I guess its cause I cannot accept the fact of who I'm starting to become or turning into. Events happened that causes me to be like this and now I see how ugly this world can be and all I did was nothing but cry.

So much anger, frustration, darkness and confusion and its killing me. Being drowned and overwhelmed by all these feelings.*sigh* And its making me becoming more remorse.

I should not let myself to turn into someone whom I'm not. I shall stop the attitude of do nothing but only crying and to deal things like an adult. Learning is a process of life. Learn to let go the pain. Learn to stop being naive. Learn to deal with life as it comes becomes life is full of shits anyway. Wake up my dear....this world is not so pretty as it seems. There are always the pretty and ugly side. Don't just see one side. Time to wake up and stop being such a kid. If you don't learn to grow up then you will never learn.