Why?????!!!!!

Where should I begin? I'm not sure. My mind is kind of in a mess right now. I though all these while it was going so well. I though I was tough enough already but why. I don't understand. Why was I shaken by that few words? Whatever that you say I normally will just take it as a joke but this time, this time something seems different. It seems so real. Is it for real?

I've come this far....so far but why did I let it slip away? Where did I go wrong this time? Why do I even feel the pain when it has nothing to do with me?! I feel like I've fallen back to square one. *sigh* Why now? Why now off all time? Have I not have enough in my mind already? Or is this a punishment? Must I really go through all this again? Why do I miss that pair of eyes that sparkles? *sigh*

I don't know how much I can take anymore. I really feel like giving up everything. I feel like dying. It feels as if all the air have been sucked out of me and its so hard to breathe. I can barely catch my breath. Please. I'm begging you. Give me the strength. I know I should not give up so easily. I know I might be better off or more fortunate than others but all of these is just overwhelming. It's driving me nuts. My exams are near and I'm not motivated to study at all. I really feel like I could lose my mind anytime.

- Always & Forever -