THE last post

You can hide but the truth will come out eventually. No matter how you tried to hide something, it will still come out eventually some day. Its just a matter of time. What I dislike most was the denial and the lies. People often regret only after they lost something which is precious to them. Why is it that people only regret AFTER they loss something? Why do they take things for granted in the first place? I guess its just human nature. Complicated as always.

I'm feeling so tired. Tired of so many things that has happened lately. Assigment for SFM was a mess and I don't know what to expect for my results this time. My results for SM test just sucks to the max. Never in my life have I got such terrible results before. Everything just seem to affect me so much lately and I can't take it anymore. I've decided that the best is to really let it go faster. Trying all my might and strength to get that burden off my shoulders. There was just too much pain involved. The hatred that grows within me would definately change me in person but it is not me anymore. I did not want to be that person. Hatred is something which brings a person down as well and that is the last thing I need right now. Letting go the love and the hate is the best way to keep a friendship. Loving him was not about right or wrong but it just happen at the wrong place at a wrong time.

I'm sick of all these things. It was not that I was holding on thinking there was hope. At first it was but then I know it was pointless. The worst thing a person should not do it to lie to themself. Loving a person should not be painful and difficult. Is not so much about how much you click with each other or how much you have in common but is about trust, honesty, how much you value each other and how much effort you put in a relationship. When you found your true love, you won't have insecurities and go asking question after question. In the back of your mind you won't go thinking what is he doing now with other girls around? Will he cheat on me? Will he be faithful? Does he really love me? Because you know, no matter what, they will ALWAYS have us their heart.Thinking every moment about us and be there for us and ALWAYS and ONLY us. Rooting for us, supporting us, cheering us up and feeling what we are feeling even when we don't said it.

A friend in need is a friend in deed. I wana thank YOU for sending angels to me and lighten up my burden =) When I was down, I shut myself away from people and the things around me. Putting a barrier up cause I did not want to feel the pain. Getting mood swings was becoming more often than ever. But I oversee the things in life that matter the most to me. My dear friends. They were there for me when I needed them the most. They mould my life and made me who I am today. Every memories that I have with them were precious to me. Every single one of them whether the guys or girls, my schoolmates, my groupmates, my classmates or even my coursemates.

As of today, this will be my last post about him. I promised. I won't want to make my friends to worry about me. Holding back just brings too much emotions back and nothing but pain. I deserve to be happy. I know I can do it. Thanks to all my dear friends for the strength that you all gave me. Thank you very much and I love all of you very much =)

And you can see on the top right side there are little fishes which I just installed. So people do come by from time to time and feed them all right =P or maybe just play around with them k??? Haha.....and a new playlist which well....consists of song which I love =)

Stressed out!

So much to do yet so little time. So much pressure from so many things makes me think, think and think. Because of too much pressure that causes me to break down all of a sudden the other day. I din't know why all of a sudden but the burden was just too heavy. I was having mixed feelings the other day. Mummy went away for a week so I'm resposible of things at home plus SFM assignment dateline which is so freaking near and being emo just makes me felt worst than ever. All this has also affected my health lately. I also felt bad when I broke down all of a sudden and people thinks that is was his fault. I din't know how to explain at that point of time as YB said, 解释既是掩饰 plus I was not really in the mood and don't want people to bug me with questions so there really was no point explaning. They can think what they want to think I just don't want to care so long as it doesn't hurt his feelings. He has feelings as well and its not fair to blame someone for something that they din't do. I just feel so frustared at myself for being so weak and cried almost everyday this few days. *sigh* Please give me the strength to carry on cause right now I only feel like dying as loneliness and darkness seems to creeps up more and more while sunshine and happiness seems so far away. I just don't know where or who to turn to as I feel so lost right now.

Finally~

Yes, finally I've finished what I started and have also pass it to its owner. I though I can finish it in 3 weeks time but it took me a month instead. Despite all the negative critism that I receive, all the hardwork, all the rushing, its all over now. As much as I don't want it to, I have to. He will always remain in my heart thou.

A lecturer of mine once said that writing is good for the soul. I wonder how true is that? Perhaps one will feel better by expressing themselves but does it really work? In the long run maybe....I guess....I'll have to find out the next time then.

As for now, cherish and savour every moment that we can. This is my first time being so emo on my blog. I've never been like this before. He is really special. The one and only unique one in my life. He has definately changed my life and made an impact that I will never forget especially those happy moments that we had. If I have a chance in my next life, I will surely pick him again.

Apart from this, there will be a new first time again....soon. This time is assignment. This will be my first time working in a group with guys cause our lecturer wants us to mix around and he'll randomly pick and put us into groups. All this while I've only been in an all girl group. I guess this will be just another experience of life. I hope I'll get along with my new group members without any problem. *pray hard* I really dislike all the group problems and disagreement which sometimes can affect one's friendship. People often say, its easier to make enemies than friends. But for me, I would rather not want any enemies. =)

P.s. I know I should not have but I miss him so much.

- Always & Forever -

AMA Group 1 =)

Well this week have been very very tiring as I was rushing to finish up some stuffs and its taking more time than I expected because was quite difficult in searching of that something to go with it. Anyways my presentation was delayed to next week!!!!!!!!! Dam it! *sigh* So now I'll have presentation next week and another test again....this time is SM. Oh boy~~ oh boy~~ This time I'll sure die.....some more need to start to work on my SFM assignment as the dateline is near too!!!!! *faints* Well at least we took loads and loads of pics after our FDM presentation. Kinda lazy to label them. I only took some of them which I like and think its nice =P The rest of them can be found in FB....so enjoy the pics~

What a week!!!!

Well the title sort of says it all as this whole week was basically rushing to finish up our assignment which is to prepare a business proposal in a week's time!!!!!  We started having discussion on Monday and Tuesday and start to do the work on Wed but during Thur morning around 2am I was told that there might be changes in our proposal and there we go. Start from stratch all over again on Thur with a new concept. Stayed in WL's room til it was dinner time and after dinner was back to work again. I went home at 1130pm and was to continue with our work til 630am only did I went to bed. As for my dear other group members were only done at 730am. Poor chaps.....what would I do without them...hehe....I'm so lucky to have them...blessed....

When most people are busy, their mind will surely won't be thinking of anything else but to finish up their work. As for me, I dunno why, was thinking of him more than ever. Weird I know. Kinda miss him pretty badly this week and not sure why. Perhaps its cause his birthday was drawing nearer. So through out the week was pretty emo for me as well. Tiring was a sure thing due to lack of sleep which causes pain all over the body plus being emo just makes me get fed up even more easily. *sigh*

Thou we have summit our assignment on Friday we still need to get ready for our presentation on Wednesday and also RCS test on the coming week and the week after is SM test and SFM assignment to hand in. Gosh.....so much to do yet so little time. *sigh* Have to cross my fingers and stay strong no matter what. I can't afford to loose it right now as much as I want to. I can't fall sick.....I can't keep on thinking of him.....I hate myself for being like this. I really dislike the me right now. This song really suits me alot. Just the typical me. Dam it.

Title : Had It All
Singer : Katharine McPhee
Lyrics : -

Why'd I have to go and be a fool again
Why'd I have to go and make a big thing outta nothing
I didn't know what I had
'Til you were gone
It was right in front of me
All along
And now those days, of same old story
Are feelin' more like faded glory

[Chorus:]
I had it all
I threw it all aside
Thinkin' there was more there I needed to find
I had it all baby
'Til you went away
Blue skies, sunshine and butterflies
Those were the conditions that I left behind
Why did I let it go to waste
I had it all

So where are all the fireworks I thought I'd see
I still haven't found the magic I was lookin' for that made me leave
Oh, no
I traded in my comfort zone
For empty nights of bein' alone

[Chorus:]
I had it all
I threw it all aside
Thinkin' there was more there I needed to find
I had it all baby
'Til you went away
Blue skies, sunshine and butterflies
Those were the conditions that I left behind
Why did I let it go to waste

Why did I believe that a little voice
That led me down the path to this bad choice
Why don't I listen to the angels
When they sing, oh yeah, they sing
Oh yeah oh

[Chorus:]
I had it all
I threw it all aside
Thinkin' there was more there I needed to find
I had it all baby
'Til you went away
Blue skies, sunshine and butterflies
Those were the conditions that I left behind
Why did I let it go to waste
I had it all
Why did I let it go to waste
I had it all

Why'd I have to go and be a fool again