Just random updates

Have you ever come across of challenging yourself? Well I guess most of us do but it just depends on what the challenge is. Some of the things maybe beneficial and some may not. I don't like challenges that much perhaps once in awhile would be fine...hahaha....but I did challenged myself into doing something I never though I would do. Well I'm not sure of the outcome. It was just so so.....but just go with the flow since there is no turning back.

Unlike adventures stuffs. I love adventures stuffs. How I wish I could go for bungee jump!!!!! But too bad there isn't any in Malaysia. And I heard its not cheap either to go bungee jump. Not sure thou.....sigh. It would be so cool to be able to try it as it gets your adrenaline going.

Nothing much on movies....only manage to watch 3 and well....its kinda great for the week. Love them!

And I Miss You So~

Sometimes I wish I could just go and be with you

Forget about the world, forget about the people

Forget about everything else and just leave.

It's not that I'm afraid of dying

Because people will die eventually

It's more of living that I'm fear of.

So much of baggage to carry on

So much of things to worry of

Sometimes it just wears a person off.

I'm so tired of facing so many things

But then again, it's not my style.

I know that one must face hardship before the easy living

I know that I musn't be so selfish to just leave like that

For I have filial duty

And I know that I must not give up upon myself

Cause if I do, it is the same as suicidal.

It's that time of the year again

Another year has passed so quickly

Lately am feeling pretty low, emo

And have been thinking alot about you.

How are you? How have you been?

Having a great time there?

Did you miss me?

Did you come to visit me?

How I wish you would visit me in my dreams

I miss you terribly

And I feel bad for not being able to visit you again this year

It's been 2 years now.

Mum said that every year around this time

There will be an insect which enters the house

Whether its in a form of bug or moth

I din't notice them.

But I saw one this week at home

Pretty I would say

Was it you who have always come this time around?

But no matter what

You do know how much I love you right?

I love you more than anything else in the world

And it's everlasting

I may not be visiting you but the rest of them will

And I know you'll forgive me

For it is just inevitable

As much as I want to skip them

You know mum and dad would surely disagree.

I always have the idea of writing a letter to you

Then burn it with your other belongings

But I don't know to write in what language

If it's English will you understand?

My Mandarin on the other hand is poor.

Therefore, I hope you'll just wait for me

Perhaps 30 to 40 years later?

I really hope that I'll get to see you again

As I've so much to talk to you.

Another Weird Dream

This morning I woke up from a weird dream again. Yes, again I woke up crying. I guess weird dreams happen when I couldn't sleep. Tummy wasn't feeling well was perhaps the reason I can't sleep. Went to bed around 2am but roll on and on till not sure what time only I fall asleep and got up at 7-ish in the morning!!!!!

This time was a different dream. It was about a guy's birthday party. My friends and I overnight at a house (not sure who's house thou) the day before the party to help out the next morning. And what's odd is that some of my friends who overnight are friends I've met from different groups (such as those from born in year 1988, 1987 and 1986). This is still consider ok but friends whom I've met randomly happens to know the birthday boy too. And the next morning one of my friend asked have I buy any present yet. I said "No" but she keep on bugging me with questions. Well its because this was a HUGE birthday party for it seems more like a HUGE gathering to me. LOL!

The weirdest thing was at the party I saw my diploma and advanced diploma mates too (whom they are NOT related to the birthday boy AT ALL). In this dream all I get was pressure one after another. Things that I do are not going as smoothly as I wish and some other things caused me feeling so frustrated to a point that my friends notices. I started to move away to the side where there was a lake and started crying. And *poof* I woke up.

The past few days I watch a few new movies and my favourite is The Blind Side. Love it!!!! Dam nice movie!!!! And also Twilight New Moon~~~ 

P.s. : A new playlist is uploaded. Enjoy~

Bored~

Have you ever come across with the thought of hurting yourself? There are many ways people hurt themselves. For example, smoking, not having proper meal or sleep, being a heavy drinker, commit suicide, and etc. All these are crime that we (humans) take upon our body, mind and soul. (including our health)

Recently I have the urge to want to smoke. Been drinking alot as well for the past week compare to last time where I only drink during CNY!!! (>.<) Nowadays even on occasions I do drink. I guess as we age, we then to do things that could help us relax (short term) but which harms us (long term). LOL! If people tell me its hard to get rid of it (eg. smoking), I would only reply one word. BULLSHIT.

As for my pathetic life, nothing much to update lately for I only attend revision classes on the weekends. 

Hang out with friends once awhile and the rest of the time will be at home (pretty free) *sigh* Free because trying to run away from studying. Wonder why am I doing it. Anyways, most of the time I did was watch movies and dramas (much more than I study!)

What a dream

I woke up this morning with tears flowing from my eyes

I was awaken by the dream that I had

A dream like never before

Even seem pretty silly to me

It was touching yet scary

[The Beginning]

I was watching behind a glass door [the two way kind of glass]

Seeing my diploma mates happily walking away

It was like they were going for a celebration

And all I did was just stood there quietly to avoid them

Why was I even avoiding my friends?

It was because of the secret that I'm keeping

Later on my advanced diploma mates asked me out

I did went out with them but avoided drinking

And was also very careful at picking my food

It was because I just found out not long ago

That I am two months pregnant

I didn't know what to do

Didn't dare to even tell anyone

Not even a soul and definately not my parents

For I was afraid

I seem to be on a probation for work

My colleagues called me a few times only did I realise she was calling me

There was so much in my mind that I lost focus

And was doing my job so slowly

My boss gave me a bad remark for performing poorly

Suddenly I left and walk into a shop by the street

It was more like a gallery

But it is filled with baby items

From baby clothes, toys, and many more

Suddenly a couple came in and have a look at things

I overheard them saying XYZ designed the interior

They were praising XYZ on how beautiful the interior was

It struck me a little for I know XYZ

But that person isn't an interior designer

All of a sudden I drop on my knees and started crying

People were looking but I didn't bother

At that moment I wanted mummy so badly

And she suddenly appear behind me

She scolded me for being silly and told me that she knows that I'm pregnant

Then I ask her how she knew

She just said she did [A mother's instinct I guess]

Then she told me she even called my grandparents and told them about it

I was like, "What????!!!!" and stood there speechless

As she continued on asking me who the dad was

I was reluctant to say anything

For it was over between us

She said, "Ok then....that's fine...." and hugs me

I was touched at that moment while she comforts me

And at the same time I saw XYZ standing at a corner looking at us

XYZ seem rather upset

[The End]

It was the hugging part which got me touched for I think in real life my mum would have kill me already. LOL! It's touching cause mum knows how I was feeling and she came to the rescue. The scary part was me becoming a single mom. I don't want that to happen for it is not easy to be a single mom.

To me, I don't quite understand what this dream really mean because it consist of the past, present and future. Well I surely won't want this kind of future. *pray hard* Maybe because I'm too stress and worrying so much for the external exams lately plus with all those late night sleep and lack of sleep just mess up my sleeping time. *sigh*