Back in college

Being back in college after two weeks break seem pretty much not motivated. Because I did not get to go for a holiday and during the holiday I only went to meet 1 friend out of the whole two week! Only one person......swt....how pathetic my life can get?

Oh well.....first day and I should say the timetable suck to the max. About 6 weeks of our classes cancel and replacement dates have also been given to us. Thanks to the very efficient and the most lovable Mr. Clement. I just love him cause he really is the smartest man I've met in my life so far....hehehe....but my classes end at 5pm!!!!!!!!!! *sigh*

In life there are always first for everything. Whether its a first hug, first kiss or so and so, every one of it mean a different thing to different people. To some its just part of the experience in life while to others it is something memorable to cherish on throughout their life.

Today was the first day back in college meeting him ever since we split. I try to avoid him as much as I could by not bumming into him but I guess eventually I can't run forever since college doesn't seem to be so big anymore. Sigh. I'm just scare that I'll start crying again if I can't control my emotions as I still do feel head over heels for him. I've never been this way before with anyone and letting go is not what I wanted. I dint want to let go cause thinking that if I were to have a second chance to proof myself. However a friend of mine told me that its not possible and that I'm out of my freaking mind and being silly because he doesn't heart me anymore. What is the point for me to continue to have a crush on him as this relationship is only one sided and its the past. But I am thinking of the future and not the past.

Well to me nothing is easy in life yet it doesn't mean that its not attainable because every challenge in life is a test and God has His reasons for all that happened. Although I've never encounter it in my life before but I do believe in fate. Just because all this do happen in books and dramas doesn't mean it had never happen before in real life. Opportunities do come and go. Perhaps by living in this fantasy it would eventually be easier for me by not sobbing so much as time flies and I eventually will need to move on with life but I won't know how long this will go on in order to end it. Living in a fantasy is always easier because we are just avoiding the reality in life and by that way we don't feel so much pain and all of our dreams will come true in our mind.